


warm on a cold cold night

by serein



Category: Football RPF
Genre: A little fluff and some angst, AU, First Dates, I'm so sorry omg, M/M, Oneshot, hospital fic, steven's dad gets sent to the ER, this is a sign i need sleep lol, why did i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 21:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7701148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serein/pseuds/serein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It begins in a Mexican restaurant, and ends with a realization about something to do with Steven.</p><p>And not the kind that Xabi was looking for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	warm on a cold cold night

**Author's Note:**

> title from honne's "warm on a cold night".
> 
> enjoy.

-

 

They're uncomfortably close.

Well, maybe not uncomfortable, but the table at the Mexican restaurant Xabi has found himself in with none other than the cute boy from Chemistry class is so small that their legs overlap in a mess of appendages underneath the polished tan surface. Not that Xabi's one to complain about colliding knees with a hot guy, but they're so extraordinarily close that Xabi can accurately count the long lashes on Steven's undereye. The server comes by, guacamole grinder and supplies and everything, and Steven kinda just nods along when Xabi gives the server directions to put everything in the beaten avocado mix except onions, because he simply isn't prepared emotionally for onion breath on the first date.

They'd been planning this date for quite a while, far longer than the average people plan their first date. Perhaps it was because Steven was, well, the son of an aerospace engineer, so he had great attention to detail, or Xabi was just pure neurotic, but somehow the two of them together turned into an absolute no-chill pair, forcing them to inevitably plan every detail of their first date together out.

(Xabi had called Miro the night before to tell him about his nerves and the plans they made, and Miro had told him he was fucking insane.)

Steven asks him a question, his teeth garishly white in the candlelit restaurant, and Xabi is paying too much attention to counting the freckles on Steven's nose that he barely catches what he says.

"What? Sorry." His cheeks color slightly and he looks at his hands.

Steven laughs quickly, and repeats. "Nothing, I asked you whether you'd finished that fucking idiotic social studies project for History. The one that needed a posterboard, yeah?"

"Oh," Xabi replies, only partly paying attention, because Steven had decided to leave a scandalous two of the buttons on his shirt unbuttoned, revealing a little more skin that Xabi was mentally ready for. "No. Barely even started. I have it eighth period though, so I can work on it during my lunch break."

"That's good," Steven replies. "I probably seem like such a nerd, don't I? Asking about social studies on the first date."

"Not at all," Xabi comes back, this time smiling a little as the words come tumbling out, "plus I think nerds are a little sexy."

"Really, now?"

"Really."

The server interrupts their flirting by putting down the finished bowl of guac between them on the table, and they break a part just enough for the waiter to place a bowl of corn tortilla chips in between them. "Have you two decided what to order?"

"Fajitas would be lovely," Xabi tells the waiter in Spanish.

"With chicken or steak or fish?" The server replies, his voice cracking a little at the end to his embarrassment.

Xabi consults with Steven, and then gives the waiter another answer. "Chicken, please."

"Sounds good. Anything else for you gentlemen tonight?"

"No, that's it," Steven cuts in. "Thank you."

"It's no problem, señores," the server says warmly to Steven.

He takes the menus, picks up the guac supplies, and carries off.

Xabi turns back to Steven and asks, "now, what were we talking about again?"

"Not really anything," the brunette replies. "I think you mentioned something about hot and sexy nerds? If they even exist?"

Xabi laughs. "Well, I'm a bit of a nerd."

Steven takes the opportunity to grab a tortilla chip from the bowl and stick it gingerly in the thick guacamole, a sole tan trooper in a viscous sea of green and red and purple. "I guess they do exist then."

"Are you calling me hot and sexy?" Xabi flirts back.

"I don't know, are you?"

"You tell me. Beauty is subjective, isn't it?"

"All I'm saying is that I had the theory that the phrase "hot and sexy nerd" is an oxymoron, and you're destroying the juxtaposition of the two parts of the phrase for me here."

Xabi laughs. "OK. And you're the one using the word "juxtaposition," yet calling me a nerd."

"Hey! Stop lying, you admitted your own nerdery."

"That's not a word."

"Whatever, nerd."

Xabi giggles, and he pulls Steven's chip out of the guacamole and starts crunches down on it before the other can stop him.

"What the hell, Xabi, that was my chip."

"You can't own a fucking chip."

"Oh, yeah?"

Steven tries to seem angry when he pulls another tortilla chip out of the bowl copiously filled with the small triangle-shaped morsels, dips it furiously in the guacamole, and shoves it in his mouth. "How's that for ownership?"

Xabi looks on in mock disgust. "Yeah, you're not a hot and sexy anything, much less a nerd."

"I hate you."

"This is why you, Mr. Varsity soccer player, are still going on first dates with random boys from Chemistry class."

"Fuck off, Xabs, I know you play club soccer in the youth teams. Don't give me your bullshit."

"Actually, I just help coach small children."

"Whatever." The brunette picks up another chip and pouts, sticking it violently into the guacamole.

Xabi looks at him and bursts out laughing. "Stop doing that."

"Stop doing what?" Steven exaggerates his pouting even more, puffing out his lower lip completely and adopting the saddest pair of puppy eyes he can conjure.

"Stop. It." Xabi's close to chortling.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just...weally sad." Steven replies, lisping his way through the phrase.

"You're done. I'm not talking to you anymore tonight. We're leaving." Xabi makes it clear he's trying to stand up, placing his napkin on the table and pursing his lips, trying to contain his laughter.

"Wait! No, Xabi, I'm sorry, please. Bae, don't leave me. We haven't even Netflixed and calmed yet. Please."

Xabi looks at him again, this time incredulous. "Did you say Netflix and calm?"

"Yeah? Isn't that the phrase for when you do the nasty but with -"

"It's Netflix and chill, Stevie."

"Oh."

Xabi giggles again. "You're definitely not a nerd."

"Fine, but you have to admit I'm hot and sexy."

"We're not talking about this right now."

Steven's phone, at that moment, decides to interrupt their banter, giving its little musical chime. Steven goes immediately red, naturally, but apologizes to Xabi quickly and picks up. Xabi watches as his face drains quickly of its color, and Steven starts asking quick, short questions - the abrupt whats, the violent hows, interspersing them with a chain of I don't knows and erratic okays. He slumps back against the leather cushion of his side of the booth, and Xabi tries to make eye contact with him but fails, the brunette looking at his lap.

The call ends almost as abruptly as it begins, and Steven finishes the call with a terse I love you.

He finally meets Xabi's eyes and he drops his phone into his lap. He shakes his head, and Xabi, instinctively, reaches across the table to grab Steven's hand. Pushing the guacamole aside, he feels the callouses on the brunette's hand and waits for him to speak.

Finally, he does. "It's my dad."

"What happened?"

"Something's wrong. He's in the hospital already. There's some issue with his heart."

"Oh my god, what happened?"

"Mum's not really sure. She just found him slumped in the living room and she called for the ambulance. I don't know. She seems hysteric."

Xabi apologizes, almost out of habit. "I'm sorry, Steven."

"Don't be."

"Are you going to go see him?"

"Do you think I should?" Steven swallows thickly, and Xabi tries not to pay attention to how desperate and suddenly tired his date looks.

"If you want to. How severe is the condition?"

"They don't know yet."

"Oh."

Steven sniffles once, and drops his hands to his lap, pulling out of Xabi's grip.

"I'm terrified. I'm really, really scared. God, Xabi, I'm - I'm - " His words fail him, and he quiets again, chewing on his lip and averting his gaze.

Xabi decides, at that moment, to get completely out of his side of the booth. Sliding his water to the side, and standing up, he pulls his wallet out of his pocket and quickly retrieves two twenty dollar notes, which he drops on top of the guacamole. Steven looks up at him, confused, and Xabi sticks his hand out firmly.

"Let's go."

"What?"

"Come on, let's go."

"Where? What are you talking about?"

"Let's go. To the hospital. We're going to go see if we can get you into the room to see your father. If not, we're going to wait until we can."

Steven protests. "No. I'm not ruining our date night."

"Stevie. Come on," Xabi demands, "we're going. Don't do this to yourself. You deserve to be there. You need to be there. Let's go."

Steven swallows and hesitantly, he takes Xabi's hand, who pulls him out of the booth. The waiter's curious, and approaches them, confused. Xabi reacts quickly. "Sorry, señor, we have to go now. Thank you so much for the wonderful guacamole." The waiter just nods, unquestioning and tight-lipped. The two rush outside, Xabi not letting go of Steven's fingers, pulling the brunette into the chilly night through the polished glass door.

He glances back at the brunette and inquires. "Are you alright?"

Steven just nods his head, and Xabi swallows before asking again.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Xabi then heads towards his car, walking quickly towards the old Buick.

"Xabi?"

"Yeah?" He unlocks the car and the two get in, Xabi into the driver's seat and Steven into the passenger, respectively.

"Do you - do you think he's going to make it?"

Xabi bites the inside of his cheek, and tries to answer as carefully as he can. "I don't know. You didn't tell me much. I don't think we know enough to tell yet."

He turns on the ignition and asks, quickly, "He's at the local hospital, yeah? On Maple?"

"I think so."

"Alright."

Xabi backs quickly out of his parking spot and pulls out of the parking lot. The roads are fairly clear, oddly, given the moderate hour. Perhaps it's divine influence that has somehow ridden the local road system of its traffic, perhaps it's just luck - but Xabi makes his turns smoothly and cleanly without worrying about red lights or the characteristic Lexus driver who forgets to turn his blinker on.

The silence is painful, awkwardly painful, the kind of painful you'd never want on a first date, but Steven lacks the willpower to break it. He sucks in his cheeks, and focuses on the road instead - the yellow lines against the black, the tan curb and the yellowing grass. Before he realizes it, he's crying, silently, the tears welling up in his eyes and blurring his vision. The traffic lights become a wounded, chaotic mess of color and light, and Steven falls back against the cushion of the passenger seat, trying to make his body smaller. Xabi, thank god, doesn't say anything, though Steven's fairly sure the driver looks over at him more than once.

Soon enough, they pull up to the hospital parking lot, and Steven's almost in a daze. The tears are flowing freely at this point, and Xabi finds a parking spot quickly. He pulls the key out of the ignition, and looks over at Steven, who's still hunched over in the seat, the belt not even on his chest anymore. It's not supposed to feel like this, but it does, and Xabi hesitates before breaking the ice.

"Stevie."

The brunette doesn't answer him, and sits up, looking out the window at the hospital door a couple hundred feet away. Luminescence streams out onto the cement sidewalk from the set of glass doors, and Steven faintly makes out the front desk from where he's sitting. It looks warm, and terrifying, and comforting, and terrifying.

"Stevie, please," Xabi begs. "Are you okay?"

"No."

Xabi's teeth find his lipline again, and he tries not to push any further. "Should we go in?"

"I'm scared," Steven replies, almost at a whisper, "that if I go in, it'll make it more real."

Xabi's afraid to startle him, so he replies back just as quietly, as if the space in between them is a sheet of fragile glass and the silence is all that keeps the framework together. "You can't think like that."

Steven turns to him, eyes watery.

"Why not?" He questions, voice breaking. "Why can't I want this all to be a dream?"

"Because," Xabi responds, "because we can't live like that forever."

Wiping away his tears, Steven shakes his head softly and Xabi watches him, unsure of exactly what to say.

"But why do I have to confront this now? Why now?"

"Because your papa needs you," Xabi whispers. "Because your papa needs you more than ever."

Steven exhales audibly, and he leans over the center console to rest his head on Xabi's shoulder. "I don't want to go in."

"Hey. Stevie. You can do it. I'll go with you. Okay?" Xabi says, voice quivering. He places a hand on the side of Steven's head and rubs gently as if to comfort him.

"Okay," Steven says tinily. "Okay."

 

-

 

Minutes later, the two find themselves in the waiting room of the ER department. Apparently, according to the front desk, though Steven is part of his father's immediate family, he can't go in yet because Xabi's father is in a critical condition where visitors aren't yet allowed. Steven's mum has seemingly gone home, probably to put Steven's younger brothers to bed because she's unable to see her husband anyways. Xabi and Steven, on the other hand, are sitting in the hospital chairs, reek with antiseptic, ugly green in color and discomforting in function. The waiting room is moderately empty, save for a few women, huddled together in the corner, and a teenaged boy, a little younger than the two of them, sitting alone underneath the large window. His hands fidget in his lap, and Xabi debates going over and talking to the poor kid but decides not to just for the sake of privacy.

Steven's on his shoulder again, and he's humming something, too soft for anyone else to pick up but loud enough for the Spainard to hear.

"Stevie?"

The brunette stops the humming and looks up at Xabi, curious and red-eyed.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. About all of this. Happening to you."

Steven lets himself emit a quiet little laugh.

"Ironic, because I should be apologizing to you."

"Don't worry about our date."

"Not about our date. About me. You weren't expecting to be holding cute Chemistry boy in the ER waiting room, were you?" Somehow he lets himself be cheeky, and he cracks at faint smile at the ginger-haired boy looking back down at him.

"I have to admit that I can't say I would've thought it was going to end up like this."

"I'm sorry."

Xabi shakes his head. _He can't stop, can he?_

"Stop apologizing."

"Sorry."

"Bloody."

Steven cracks a weak smile, and says it again. "Sooorry," he mutters, elongating the first syllable.

"Apology not accepted."

Steven doesn't reply, and just lays his head back down on Xabi's chest.

Slowly, despite the bright lights of the waiting room, Xabi watches as Steven's body softens, and the boy's breathing begins to relax. 

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

Melodic.

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

Soon, watching the rhythmic, relaxed state Stevie's taken to starts getting to Xabi too, and the view of the bun on the receptionist's head is replaced by nothingness.

 

-

 

Xabi's eating strawberries in the reaches of his dreams when he's abruptly shook awake. The lights are blinding, and he squints at the interloper to his slumber.

Then he remembers he's in the waiting room, and he jerks up in his chair. The waiting room's considerably more empty than when they first arrived, and he blinks rapidly as his eyes adjust.

The woman in front of him is dressed messily, as if she just got out of bed herself. A white t-shirt, a cardigan, a mused pair of jeans - she speaks softly, with a bit of a floaty inflection to her voice.

"Hi."

She looks like she's been crying.

"Hi, um, who are you?"

Her voice is unnaturally steady. "I'm Julie. Steven's mom. I thought I'd wake you up; Steven's gone to his father's room and I - I don't know, I wanted to say thank you. For taking care of Steven."

"It's - it's no problem, m'am."

"Just Julie is fine."

"It's no problem, um, Julie."

There's a bit of an awkward quiet, and she adjusts the purse on her shoulder, her lips tightening subconsciously before she speaks.

"So - um - how do you know Steven?"

"We - we have Chem together. With Flick. And he just - I dunno, he just happened to ask me out and we did it and now we're here." He says, voice a little croaky given he just woke up.

She smiles, slightly, and Xabi can practically physically feel the weariness in her eyes.

"He's such a good boy."

"I like him a lot." Xabi's quiet, and then he asks the inevitable. "Say, um, Julie, do you know whether - whether, um, Mr. Gerrard's gonna be okay?"

"I'm not sure," she says quietly. She looks away, towards the rack of magazines, and Xabi watches as she clutches her purse a little tighter. "I really wish I knew."

"I'm sorry," he says."

"No," she responds, "I should be sorry. Disturbing your date. I'm -"

"It's really not your fault, m'am. Dates are supposed to be where you get to know people, right? And as horrid as it sounds, I - I guess it's been quite a bonding activity. Nothing like falling asleep on each other in a hospital waiting room."

She hints at a smile, and Xabi hopes to God he's lifted her melancholia by a shade. "Do you need a ride home? Do your parents know you're here? I should have asked earlier."

"No, but don't worry. Mum will understand. And I can drive home. It's okay. Stevie - you should stay with him."

"Are you sure, uh - "

"Xabi. Xabi Alonso. And yeah. Why aren't you in the room with them again?"

The older woman takes a quick breath. "I wanted to give Steven some time with his father alone."

It's a bit of a speak of the devil situation, but at that very moment the door behind them opens with a click and in comes Stevie, face a bit reddened but seemingly okay.

The two look at him, and he stops for a second, swallowing hard. 

"Steven," his mom calls hesitantly.

"Hi, mum," he returns, walking over. "Hi, Xabi."

Mom and potential boyfriend look at each other, and potential boyfriend speaks. "How'd it go?"

"I talked to him, and that's it."

"Are you okay?"

"No," Steven says. "No, absolutely not."

Xabi stands up, and his mother comes close, and Xabi comes close, and all three of them embrace each other. The Gerrards start crying again, and Xabi's close to tears himself, and together they are warmth and fear and love and uncertainty, a bundle of emotions entrapped between six limbs and three heads and three strong, beating hearts. 

At some point, his mother pulls away and slumps into a chair, body collapsing on itself, and Steven and Xabi stay hugging.

"Please don't let go," Steven says into his ear, voice broken past anything appropriate for a first date. Not that much of what's happened has been appropriate, but nonetheless.

"Okay," Xabi says.

His mother just weeps.

 

-

 

He gets home far past curfew, and he tries to be quiet when he goes into his house. When he finishes brushing his teeth and pushing his retainer into his mouth, he looks at his own reflection carefully, and sees nothing different. 

But he feels different. He touches his neck, his shoulder, and tries not to think about Steven's chin perching itself there, a cloud of sadness raining sorrow but also hope onto the two of them.

When he collapses on his bed, the last thing he thinks before it all goes to mush is, not unsurprisingly, "Goddammit, Steven, now I'm probably going to fail fucking social studies."

 

-

the end.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed it. some quick notes:
> 
> \- i appreciate any and all kudos & comments.  
> \- this was written for [charlotte](http://archiveofourown.org/users/shallot). i love you. thank you for always inspiring me. xx  
> \- you can find me on tumblr at album-fragmentation.tumblr.com.
> 
> have a good night, lovelies.
> 
> -max


End file.
